PRINCE Feature - THE TAO OF PRINCE

By Royal Appointments.

By TIM DAVID HARVEY

Godzilla didn't have s### on this!

Monday the 17th of May, 2014. The morning after. The morning after a night like no other. When purple hit the Northern Soul of Manchester's Oasis like a 'HIT N RUN', as the late, great Prince and his powerful girl group 3RDEYEGIRL united the city in its most awesome arena. There was never going to be a come down when the elevator took everyone going crazy this high on back-to-back nights in the city Beckham and Best built. But what could top this? Eyejustknewordscouldntdoitjusticeeveninhissignaturestyle2nite. And sitting there in the middle of a few days later. Writing a review of the Summer blockbuster 'Godzilla' movie starring Bryan Cranston for all of ten minutes. Whilst waiting for a text from my girlfriend at the time, my phone buzzed. It was an e-mail. One asking me about my review. No...not of the Japanese kaiju with electric breath, but my review of the monster show of all sold out shows, Prince's gig. By royal appointment an e-mail with a subject, 'photo swap + clearance' made it's way through like Tom Hanks, Meg Ryan and Dave Chappelle (more on him later)."Hi there", it began like me speaking to women (before said girlfriend, may I add for disclaimer posterity). Oh, oh...was I in trouble? Copyright trouble?! "Hope all is well" (well that depends). "Thank you so much for the Prince review" (oh...you're welcome). Who is this I thought? "I wondered if you'd be able to swap the current photo used on your review with the one attached" (erm...sure. You sure you don't want to sue me?)? A beautiful confetti of purple and dove white ticker tape with the force of the Purple Yoda's hand out like Baby Grogu. Thanks Anna! But that wasn't it. "Prince's office" (PRINCE'S OFFICE!?!). "Prince's office loved the review and wanted to ask your permission (MY PERMISSION?!) to use snippets from the review, of course with a credit"(wait...what?! Credit? F### a credit! This is amazing! Of course).

Prince's office?

PRINCE'S OFFICE?!

Does that mean?

Could he have?

No.

Surely not!

Nah!

NO!

Wait!

Little did I think I'd ever get the chance to see Prince live. Little did I know the man that seemed as ageless and forever as he still is now would pass two years later. How could I even begin to believe his eyes might have met my words?

How about another bedtime story?

King James' Lakers aren't the only royalty to come out of Minneapolis wearing purple. A Queen once came to my home here in the blue of Yokohama, Japan in Prince Paisley...and that was all she wrote.

The King dressing as Prince for Halloween. Those 'Purple Rain' Minnesota Timberwolves uniforms.

Spike Lee showing up at the Oscars suited and booted in purple like him, with the symbol shoes to match. His 'She's Gotta Have It' Prince tribute episode.

The 'Empire' one complete with a 'Raspberry Valet'.

So much love.

Yesterday if coronavirus hadn't taken everything already in the terrible 2020, we lost the great Larry King. A true pioneer and King of Late Night television (sorry Jimmy...Kimmel and Fallon (your time's about to come). So today I finally watched the classic 'Larry King Live' interview with the then symbolic, Artist Formerly Known As Prince in 1999 of all years whilst writing this. Party like that! Larry King was as New York as the steam from corner stand hot dogs or manhole covers. And nothing compares to how much he was as legendary to this city as the same Sinatra they were also paying tribute to on the anniversary of his passing. Not even beginning to realize in just over two decades we'd be mourning their last night too. The two flirted up a storm. Larry decked out in his traditional spectacle of bifocals, braces and Sipowicz shirts with the sleeves rolled up like cufflinks were going out of business. Prince in 'Rave2TheJoy' era black, with the hair and beard to match. Platinum symbol hanging on a chain of a man who no longer had to write "SLAVE" on his face in black marker. At one point the veteran reliable King like LeBron forgot a question. "What was the question?" he asked the purple one. "I just asked the question. I forgot the question!" "You were just saying how much you loved live television", Prince in subtle tongue in cheek soft speaking quipped. We and he almost missed that. But when we cottoned on we marvelled at the stark genius. Even the man who went by a logo when he wasn't called a Prince knew how to be as playful as the cough (don't do that today) at the start of the 'Raspberry Beret' video and not take us or himself too seriously. One man who did take Mr. Rogers seriously was Mr. King. The same Larry who once famously larked at a boasting DJ Khaled of "We The Best" and cullingus avoidance fame, "how did you gain all the weight"!? The host was gracious to Prince's name change and symbolic power, even when some were not. He asked his trademark personal questions that didn't probe, but instead offered perspective. As Prince himself said about the personal life of fellow greatest of all-time, Michael Jordan and whether he gets along with his wife, kids, "I want to know how he gets along with that rim." Larry even brought out the symbol for the viewers at home on the bottom of the screen. After all Jerry, this is still CNN.

Arsenio. Hall was as 80's as 'Purple Rain' or the 'Coming To America' (get ready for the return) movie starring Eddie Murphy he buddy played in that went decade toe-to-toe with Rogers Nelson's movie to his magnum opus of the same name. 'Purple' being to Prince's reign what 'Bohemian Rhapsody' was to the majesty of Freddie Mercury and Queen. In both Prince and Arsenio's grand return they talk about old times (so much so Prince "uh-uh" mockingly pretends to leave when he thinks too much is about to be shed like Apollonia), no phones, social media ("I want to have PRINCESTAGRAM" (we do too)) and even offers relationship advice by breaking up with a guys girl on live TV ("this is what it sounds like when Steven breaks up with you"). He just broke out cryin' doves on her. This is even better than people using Cameo to have ring announcer Bruce Buffer call-time on a relationship or colder than Sugar Ray's ("who said Sugar Gay?") Mark McGrath admitting this wasn't the best time to break up with someone's boyfriend whilst he's doing his thesus ("she wants to be friends right now bro"). Aint no halo hangin' on the corner of that four post bed.

Classic interviews like the time he got a little tired on a morning show and took a small cracker out his velvet breast pocket for a little sustenance.

Or the time on Leno when he asked Mel Gibson if he wanted to catch a film after the show. How about 'The Passion'?

Speaking of living rooms, Prince once announced his 'HIT N RUN' tour live from the one of U.K soul sensation Lianne La Havas, whose vocal interludes even appeared on those tour accompanying albums. The best of British probably couldn't believe her luck, but have you heard her music? Hit Spotify on her cover of Radiohead's 'Weird Fishes' and the 'Out Of Your Mind' interlude before and tell me tomorrow you weren't streaming them for the rest of this night.

Speaking of late nights, Jimmy Fallon live via satellite on a socially distant Graham Norton show retold the same 'Forrest Gump' epic ping pong story he told Jamie Foxx after the comedian quipped that the purple ones voice is sexier in real life (and if you think that's crazy check what happened when he looked into this "deers" eyes on the 'I Might Need Security' stand-up show). Legend has it Fallon was tipped before a Prince performance on his show that The Artist loves a bit of table tennis. So out came the toy court, but TAFKAP didn't even look at it like it was an ex. Was this a joke? Not as big as this one sounds...but have you watched 'New Girl'? Weeks later Jimmy got a call whilst out for dinner. Was everything ok? "I've gotta go...Prince wants to play me in ping pong!" Best excuse ever. Jim gets to this warehouse of a place. "Erm I'm here for...". "Prince?!" "Erm...yeah!" He gets inside and there he is. Crushed velvet holding a paddle. "You ready for this?" Prince says ready to unleash a spanking. A floundering Fallon can't tell whether what's tapping is the ball or the diminutive dynamo's heels. Either way it's "game point" and a Serena like serve that hit the corner of the table at the perfect point game set and matches like purple slacks, as Jimmy hits the deck to retrieve the bouncing ball that's traditionally all over the place like Uber Eats deliveries. He looks up. Prince is gone like Batman. But then The Roots and Late Night house drummer Questlove see's the 'Partyman' who wrote an entire 'Batman' soundtrack for Jack Nicholson outside in a limo. "What happened?" the most famous afro this side of Dr. J asks. As the window winds down like Grey Poupon, Prince simply replies..."ask your boy!!"

Window rolls up.

Game...blouses.

Pops retelling that story to me last week inspired this very article so, Dear Dad...thank you.

On the Comedy Central classic 'Chappelle Show', the late, great Charlie Murphy once tells of a time him and his brother Eddie went to the club and ran into Prince. Prince wanted to take them back to Paisley Park and play them some cuts. So Eddie assembled his crew and met him outside. Later on this bored a lollipop sucking Prince. So he challenged the Murphy's to a game of basketball. Hilarious laughter ensued. "How about you and your friends versus me and The Revolution" he coaxed. More classic cackles. Out they come..."wearing the same s### that they had on in the club". You can only guess what came next. "How about we make this the shirts versus the blouses?" Big mistake Charlie Murphy. Time to purify yourself in the waters of Lake Minnetonka, because Prince just ice grilled you. "Good. Good." In your face Charlie Murphy. Game...the guy with no hands on the rim who will come down when he wants to. After serving Charlie and his crew of flunkies, Prince served them pancakes...pancakes. It sounds too much like a bit, but that 'Real Hollywood Story' is as true as Charlie Murphy's Rick James s###. Cocaine's a hell of a drug. Now how do you like those grapes?

Prince even had the last laugh later putting Dave Chappelle's mock likeness of him on the cover of his 'Breakfast Can Wait' single...complete with pancakes for that extra syrup.

Speaking of clubs, R&B singing and dancing redefinition before '8701' ushered that all in like it was his way, Ginuwine was once in the spot. There was a tap on his shoulder. G turned 'round, looked down and there was Prince. "You know I don't normally like people covering my records (referring to 'The Bachelor' with all the roses' 1996 Timbaland produced 'When Doves Cry' rework even more refreshing than the 'Romeo + Juliet' one by Quindon Tarver that took 'em to church)." "But I liked yours". The highest of praise Gin turned to his friends to tell them to get a load of this. He turned back around. All that was left was smoke...and it probably didn't belong to the nightclub.

Mariah Carey and Dru Hill's 'Butterfly' version of 'The Beautiful Ones' honey. Sinead O'Connor. So many have made their mark, but nothing, not even a single tear compares to the real thing like the purple one playing on his love sign equivalent Kate Bush's 'Red Shoes'. It's not just another 'Manic Monday' for your bangles. Alicia Keys however, about to be Oprah rich with her diamond debut, 'Songs In A Minor' had a version of 'How Come You Don't Me Anymore' that just had to be dialled into. She had mastered everything on that record except ask the Prince's permission. So looking for royal decree she called HIM up. As she tells it in her amazing 'More Myself' autobiography that is truly a New York 'Journey' like yellow cabs or steel subways he was gracious, kind, offering advice and his blessing...on one condition. She took his stage too and performed it at Paisley. This was no place for pips. Gladys Knight brought the house down before her. Then it was Alicia's turn to take it to the keys and show us who she was like her third album. Prince only had one condition...no cussing. This was a religious house. One Miss Keys brought down too like Gladys' 'License To Kill'. Like a fellow New York Beastie Boys, 'License To Ill', Alicia was bugging. She had sealed the deal and her fate as the next great. Coming off stage a smiling Prince took one look at her and that was all she needed to know, "you gonna have to put a dollar in my curse jar".

Prince's Paisley vault may have been distastefully raided days after he died, but here's one thing they won't get their hands on. Prince and guitar hero Lenny Kravitz once recorded an album together and you just know those tracks were slammin'. On completion Prince looked at Lenny as serious as the day he was born and simply said, "this is just for us"!

Damn!

Fun Lovin' Criminal as New York as a soprano Huey Morgan tried to bum rush a Prince show in Manhattan. He couldn't get in. He went round the back. A young glass collector looking for a break let him in. That glass collectors name was Lenny.

You want to talk about live shows? How about his purple touchdown at the Superbowl? Complete with doves flying like running backs? Even covering the Foo Fighters for the best of them before bandana crowd throwing and raining his greatest mic stand dropping performance of 'Purple Rain' down on the crowd, whilst IT ACTUALLY RAINED!

Haily proud Mary. 

Perfect. Just like his reaction to the crowd participation when he asked them if he could get a little more.

How's this for more? Brit Awards surprise performer. Chris Evans (no, not that one Captain, but the former 'TFI Friday' host who once had Bon Jovi blow torch autograph his desk) only had to say one word ladies and gentlemen..."Prince". Before the Musicology who was charging fans at the time £31.21 a show after the name of his latest album (aren't you glad it wasn't called 9985?) beautifully bloomed into a refreshing rendition of 'Te Amo Corazon' that had so many people falling in love, Cupid could take a day off. And then there was more purple as Joss Stone and KT Tunstall couldn't contain themselves as Sheila E beat the rain out of the drums.

Even unplugged for MTV (of course with a purple acoustic) he played up and with the crowd. Shaking his head and "uh-uh" reacting like he didn't like the taste restarting 'Cream' until all those young cats from the kitten video generation, lapping it up, got it. Throwing his rings into the crowd before he began...probably because they got in the way of the music. You know they were worth a few bob. The kind that didn't turn your finger green, but purple.

And then there was the time Steve Winwood, Jeff Lynne, the late, great Tom Petty and Dhani Harrison all honoured his late, great father George with their live rendition of The Beatles 'While My Guitar Gently Weeps'. Well there was no supressed tears as an out of nowhere Prince made his guitar cry like Wyclef talking about Carlos Santana, Maria. So much so there wasn't a dry eye or closed mouth in the house as Prince was feeling it and showing everyone up with his solo. Even Prince's face contoured like zero gravity. They couldn't keep up with their acoustics and they looked pissed singing the same line again as they didn't know when to come back in like arguments in the kitchen. Especially when Prince did a 'Smooth Criminal' in reverse, leaning back like Fat Joe so far whilst playing his security had to keep him up and from involuntary crowd-surfing. The young Dhani was loving it and then the Travelling Wilbury and heartbreaking Tom had to crack a smile. Prince seeing that, tongue in cheek just teased him more. Nodding at him in recognition that this was all fun and games with the greats for one of the fab. The song ended even though in the end no one wanted it to do. Prince tossed his guitar in the air and just left the stage like smoke from the ashes he just left in his wake. The guitar never came down. It's probably still up there in the Rock N Roll Hall of Fame heavens. We have a theory who caught it.

George.

Now he can hand it back to him as they jam together up there in them clouds. Harps all around. 

So many artist inspired. So many words to write we could never tire.

Right before he passed Prince talked about how much he was waiting in anticipation for the conclusion to neo-soul icon Maxwell's 'BlackSummersNIGHT' trilogy, wondering what the hold up was. We are too Prince. But know when it comes to it, he'll do it for you.

Before Wesley Snipes in the before tax evasion days, Prince almost starred in the epic dance off for Michael Jackson's 'Bad' 'hood Westside Story like video. Why didn't he? Have you heard the opening lyrics? Like Prince told Trevor Nelson, "my butt is nobody's."

M.J. may be the King of Pop, but Prince is Prince.

Now who's bad?

Want more stories for the Bill Murray or Keanu Reeves Rolling Stone like legendary Tao? As soon as we know, you will too.

Like J.K Rowling's 'Detention With Delores' in Harry Potter's 'The Order Of The Phoenix'.

Watch this space for the next chapter.

Everyone's got a Prince story. Even me.

Seeing the Tokyo Shibuya skyline for the first time to his 'Sign 'O' The Times'. Really hearing 'Little Red Corvette' like it was the first time in a Times Square souvenir shop under the bright lights of the worlds biggest city. Just something else. Just like this one-of-a-kind man.

Chris Tucker directing rush hour traffic in LA whilst iPod singing along to 'Do Me Baby' for his third go round with Jackie Chan.

My friend getting a noise complaint in university after singin' 'Doves' on repeat...and you wonder why we're friends?!

The girl I served in HMV (long live the record shop) with purple hair and the 'Rain' record to match who was doing her dissertation on you know who.

But hear this like this is what it sounds like... 

Last Christmas my heart (my Mother...maybe I'm just like her (I wish)) gave me Prince's autobiography 'The Beautiful Ones' as the perfect present from the perfect person. Further reading from co-author Dan Piepenbring revealed that Prince scoured many amateur blogs (HELLO!) and the like looking for the love of real and raw writing from hungry 'scribes starting out. Could this be further rhyme to the reason?

DID PRINCE ROGERS NELSON ACTUALLY READ MY MOTHERF(hold up Alicia...I need to add a quarter to the swear jar) REVIEW?!

The fact that I will never ever know makes the story that much sweeter.

And like smoke, Prince perfect.

Peace.